The mind is not a book to be opened at will and examined at leisure. Thoughts are not etched on the inside of skulls, to be perused by an invader. The mind is a complex and many-layered thing.
I find that the more routinely I allow myself some time to do “mindless” things, the more relaxed my anxiety becomes. I’m learning not to feel guilty about taking some time for me. One of my guilty pleasures, is looking at houses on Redfin. Oddly, it helps to keep the “grass is always greener” thinking at bay; helps me to realize and appreciate what I have.